my rainbow vector bliss.
this is : lala.blogspot.com
rainnnnnbow vector.
all glen's idea.
=3
glen's awesome at advising. haha.
so, I just got back from camp, & boy, it was fun.
so, I decided to make a new skin. ;]
not sure if this will score but yeah.
navigations on top. =)
Monday, February 11, 2008
about:
yet another year
author:name here
happy new year to everyone!
a new year a new blogskin? nice not?
i believe that no matter when and where, family and friends always matters the most. i have been very depressed lately, depressed as in not that i think that everything around me is negative, but that i find it very hard to smile from the bottom of my heart. for no particular reason actually, i just think that life is so realistic. i will never forget those times that i was back in singapore. a little note, sms or even just a ring could cheer me up, but here, i find it so hard to be myself. i know that i am in there somewhere, but it is really deep down. all i desire now is to get through this year quickly and get back to singapore. i feel loved and cared for when i am in singapore, because i have family who would drive all the way out just because i said that i was craving for prawn hokkien mee, and i have friends who would spend the whole day with me just talking about anything under the Sun. that kind of feeling is so precious that nothing here can ever replace it.
actually bad things did happen to me. i hesitated whether to use the word 'bad' or not. but i guess it is not something very 'good' so the opposite to 'good' would be 'bad'. i once wrote in my diary that i think that i love watching dramas because it was a world that i could just be myself and had nothing to worry about. it is a world of me, myself and I. but back in the realistic world, i hesitate to make comments, or even say anything. anyway 'bad' things happened. i believe my close friends (only my close friends know about this blog) would have all received an email informing u that i've moved. moving into a new premises could meant good and could also meant bad. to be truthful, we were forced to move. my mom and stepdad is in the process of getting a divorce. it didn't matter if he was good to me or not, but he absolutely was no good to my family members, that included my mum of course. things are getting out of hand, all he thinks of is money money and money. i don't understand, how can money be such a great temptation that one's conscience could be eaten. he didn't even bother to attend the funeral of his father, not even pay his mother a visit when she was in the operating theatre. i really can't imagine, how can there be such heartless creature on earth. this time when i came back, we attempted to get some stuff from the house, and he just wouldn't let us in. that's the outline reason why we moved. he is already more than half-way through his life, why is money at this point of time more important than having a warmth family? i guess that's because many people have different perspective? anyway, something happened today that brought a wide smile upon my face. I received lifang's chinese new year card. --> see picture on the right. it is so pretty right. that's what i meant. only my family and friends in Singapore would care if i am good or not, only they would be worried if i was safe or not, or will that bastard just suddenly take a knife and kill us. he made my mum so terrified that she ran quickly to settle her will. i really don't know what i'll do when she's gone. i can't. i am NOT strong, i don't wanna be by myself. i wanna tear, but i don't wanna people to see my tears. But i trust God that He will bring me through all this. nothing matters more now than having the education i could possibly have.
Heavenly Father I pray today that you'll carry me through. I know that at this point of time, there's only a set of footprints on the sand. That's because u're carrying me and I'm not alone. I pray for the whole world, for anyone who needs your strength and support to bring them through the darkest point in their life. Amen.
