i haven't blog for a while... but something happened today that gave me the urge to blog.
There are just too many things in life that are unpredictable. yesterday i was just going thru the PPT that hazy and esther prepared for me b4 I came to Australia. Hazy said that i shouldn't be too nice to people and then today I had a conflict with someone because I was too nice to ppl. well maybe it is only me that thinks that I have done everything for the good of the group. for the first time i heard someone saying to me, that I am selfish, and that I am doing everything and not giving a thought to their feelings. Well the story is we, christine, deirdre, ika, pamela and myself are in Yr 11 and all Yr 11s have to set up a store for St. Clare's Day. We, the asian group, decided to set up a chinese restaurant. there are just too many things that we have to do. i was voted for the group leader, at least I didn't vote for myself it was 4/5 who wanted me to be the leader. and knowing that they do not like to do so many things, I put in quite a bit of effort into putting things together. I am not saying that they aren't helping, they do. and i haven't seen any problem until today, when IKA told me that I didn't think for our group, and I made too many decisions by myself. In my memory most of the time we discussed about everything that needs to be done for the restaurant and if we have diff. opinion we would do voting. I think I am being rather democratic. am i really that bad? having organised everything, in return I don't get thanks, i get to say sorry to people. haha. as if i can laugh now... actually during the bus ride home, i have decided to write her an apology letter. I don't wanna lose a friendship just because of this s-t-u-p-i-d st. clares thing. If saying S-O-R-R-Y would solve problems, i don't mind bein the one who have to say it. but hopefully it would really solve the problem. and i think she misunderstood when I said in biology that she didn't need to come for the meeting this sunday, just come for the surprise party that we're organising secretly for christine's seventeenth birthday. the thing is she has to go to church and she said she would only be at my house at 1pm. But I am just worried that by the time we get everything settled for the chinese restaurant, then it would run too late and christine might want to go home before dark. Ika said that she only gets to see her church friend once in a week and wants to spend time with them so she can't come at 12pm. I was planning to have it at 12pm because there aren't much to get thru and the earlier we get over it, the more time we get to spend with christine for her b'dae right? it makes sense for me to say that Christine only has her birthday once a year and only turns 17th once in her life right? There are just so many conflicts in my mind. At the same time that I think I didn't do anything wrong, I have to admit that I have. But what to do? If i have to be the one 'sacrificing' then God please give me strength and guidance that this problem would be solved soon.

May God Bless the conflict and that I would solve it soon. May God guide Ika into sense, and remind her that nothing should harm our friendship. God, please give me strength, I am selfish today to only be asking for blessings for myself, but God I really need you to be there for me and I know you are. Amen.

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